When Your Child Doesn’t Know What They Want To Read
You’ve come to understand how important it is to build a culture of reading at home with and for your kids. You enjoy read-alouds together. You visit the library frequently. The kids have shelves of books and a cozy book corner. And then one day your independent reader lets out a sigh and groans, “I don’t know what I want to read…” There are plenty of books around though. They could pick any one of them to read independently. So what gives?
Doesn’t know or Doesn’t Want to?
Before implementing my quick solution, you might want to put on that detective hat just to be on the safe side. The mission: investigate whether your child doesn’t know what they want to read or doesn’t want to read. While the solution I have to offer can very well help a reader who doesn’t want to read, it won’t be enough. If it turns out that they just don’t want to read at all, you’ll want to reflect and ask a few questions. Has reading become too difficult as of late? Has it become more of a chore? Would they rather just be read to for now? The answers to these questions will help guide your next steps.
SET The Table
If it turns out that your independent reader simply doesn’t know what they want to read, then I’m going to ask you to present them with book appetizers. Not sure whether that means you should eat or read? Understood. Not sure if you’ll ever want to call it this? Also understood.
Let’s think about appetizers for a second. They steal the show at any party! My boys love sticky chicken wings, my husband enjoys shrimp bites, and I enjoy anything that is stuffed with or dipped in something cheesy! They are small bites but oh-so tasty. And if you’re anything like me and my family, you always go back for another one, or two, or three. Who can resist?
Isn’t that what we want for our bored, indecisive, or picky reader? To see books as irresistible? To have them coming back for the books they really like? My friend, it’s time to set the table.
What Is Your Child Interested In?
If you were to set a table of appetizers for a guest you know well, you would serve what you know they like, even love. You would steer away from serving them appetizers that conflict with their dietary restrictions or that they were allergic to. Why? You want your guest to absolutely enjoy those appetizers, or at least take an interest in what you’ve made.
It’s quite possible that for the time being your child has lost interest in their current library of books. Children grow and evolve too. It’s time to think about what YOUR child is interested in now, in this time and season of their life. What are they always talking about? What moves them? What books offer connection to something personal that’s happened in their life? Maybe they are passionate about sports, other countries, business, animals, unicorns, close friendships, overcoming adversity, funny characters, or history. Observe and listen with intention. Make and keep those mental notes.
Show Them They Have Choices
What guests also seem to love about appetizers is that they have choices! They can pick and choose the tasty item that most appeals to them or they’re in the mood for. Children love having choices. It puts them in the driver’s seat. They also appreciate that we trust them enough to make their own choice. While we want our children to be exposed to various literature and new ideas, right now, while their in a slump, go ahead and pull several books that cover their deep interests. The books can be forgotten books from their shelves as well as some new books from the children’s library or bookstore. You can share less book choices if you have a child that’s overwhelmed by too many options.
“Isn’t that what we want for our bored, indecisive, or picky reader? To see books as irresistible?”
The Secret Sauce
You’ve taken their interest into account and you have plenty of choices for them. It’s now time to present them with these delicious book appetizers. Have some actual yummy treats around as well if you’d like. Fair warning- make sure you’ve previewed the books yourself before you tell them about it. You want to be ready to engage them. You are the hook! You are the secret sauce!
Tell them to come check out your display. Your display can be as simple as standing the books up on top of their book shelf, laying them out on the coffee table, or as fancy as having them set at each place setting on the dining room table with lit candles and a beautiful center piece. It’s up to you!
Let them know you found a few books you think they’d enjoy because they’ve been so interested in x, y, and z lately or because “this character really reminded me of you.” Tell them whatever is true. Which book really did excite you? Start with that one.
One at a time, read the titles, back cover, inside the book jacket, and the first page or two together. You could choose to read a really suspenseful quote to keep them on their toes. For older kids, they may want to preview the books on their own. Stay with them and let them share their thoughts with you afterwards.
The Question
Finally, end with the question: “So which of these books are we choosing to read?” Chances are there’s one book they kept going back to, one that caught their attention more than the rest. Hopefully you hear an excited voice say, “I choose this one” or even better, “I’m not sure which one to pick because I like them all!!” Not a bad problem to have. 💛
Bon Appétit
Listen, book appetizers are worth a try for two reasons: they consider your child’s interests and they offer choice. Those are two ingredients that usually guarantee a good book meal.
This idea originated from my time in the classroom when teachers would present their students with a book tasting. They would set up a few tables with a few chairs and a few books at each table. These amazing teachers would really make the classroom feel and look like students were at a fancy restaurant about to have the meal of a lifetime. Students would spend a few minutes with each book and write down their thoughts in their menus, eventually getting a feel for which book or books they just had to go back to.
While home might not be the school classroom, it’s where your child will always feel special and valued knowing you took the time to “cook up” book appetizers just to help them overcome a little hiccup in their reading journey. And that really, really matters.
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